step this way, Peter Kay

January 20, 2011 § 6 Comments

So for this week’s listography I have to think of 5 celebrities I’d like to punch.

1. Philip ‘Pip’ Schofield. Get ye back to the broom cupboard. I was always more of an Andi Peters girl. I can only watch This Morning on a Friday when it’s Eamonn Holmes (who is admittedly a little annoying however worth watching to see his discomfort at the fashion segments) and his lovely wife Ruth who in my opinion should host the show every day. In fact I have a feeling they may not host it any more but I digress. Back to ‘Pip.’ I don’t believe he is really as nice as he seems. He has something of the night about him. Why doesn’t the age of his face match his hair? I think he has a picture in his attic that is ageing horribly. However I do thank him for not inducing me to switch on ‘past-it celebs on skates.’ My tv watching habits don’t need to sink any lower

2. Richard ‘the hamster’ Hammond aka ‘the cute one from Top Gear.’ Apparently he is some sort of sex symbol. See also Marc Owen aka ‘the cute one from Take That.’ What is it that makes these floppy-haired boy-men send women into a frenzy? Give me a real man any day. Er, just not Jeremy Clarkson or Gary Barlow

3. that fella from the BT ads wot used to be in My Family. Could he be the most annoyingly smug person on the small screen? Could anyone’s face be crying out for a slap quite as much? Admittedly it may only be his character that comes across this way. In real life he may be a thoroughly nice chap. And it’s partly the ad that annoys me for ‘doing a Gold Blend.’ But come back Bob Hoskins all is forgiven. As I wrote that last sentence I had a horrible feeling he was dead. Seems he’s not. Phew

4. Kerry bloody Katona. Please leave me alone now 

5. Peter Kay. Previously I loved him. But he appears to have sold his soul to every ad campaign he can find. Why was he in that Xmas M&S ad? Was the dance supposed to be funny? Anyone frequently on ‘Parky’ is a bit suspect if you ask me. And don’t get me started on Pudsey bear. I preferred Peter in Phoenix Nights when he was telling me that garlic bread was the future.

Ooh I enjoyed that! Cute non-venomous baby-related post will follow. Maybe.

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