my amusing 3yo

January 21, 2011 § Leave a comment

I appreciate this may only be interesting to me. But my 3yo is funny. From the moment he wakes up he launches into a monologue and he hardly draws breath until bedtime. Take yesterday morning, when I was awoken by a plastic dinosaur being shoved under my nose.

‘Mummy what’s dis scary dinosaur called?’

(me) ‘Inventosaurus.’

(him) ‘Hmmm.’ (looks dubious.) ‘Well he’s not very happy. Cos the anklesawus bited him on the leg and batted him with his club tail. He’s very stronk. Den he twied to wun away but he felled over!’ Cracks up…’So mummy…’ (another plastic dinosaur waved under my nose) ‘what’s dis dinosaur called?’

(me) Sigh. 

And this morning.

‘Mummy mummy, today I weally want to go and catch some weal fishies and fight some weal pirates, kay?’

(me) ‘Er, OK darling, let mummy just make a quick cup of tea first.’

(him) ‘kay mummy. But member, we got to be weally weally quick and super speedy and let me find my sword and…mummy? Mummy? Where can we buy a fishng wod? Mummy…’

(me) ‘Sigh.’

He’s never happy with a simple ‘uh huh’ or ‘yes darling.’ He has been known on many occasion to grab my face and turn me towards him so he can be sure I’m giving him my undivided attention. Hippy childminder says he often joins her when she’s playing with the two 1yo’s, then very slowly moves their toys out of the way whilst inching forward himself and giving her his best winning smile.

Here’s some of this weeks outtakes.

1. balancing on a garden chair in order to hang worms off the branches of the trees. Not as bad as when I caught him pegging worms onto the washing line. Maybe he thought this was a bit kinder

2. shouting to strangers in the supermarket ‘FOXES EAT HEDGEHOGS!’ and laughing hysterically like this was the best piece of information he’d ever received, he just had to share it 

3. opening the shower door, pressing his face to my (expanding) tummy, and whispering ‘hello baby, are you enjoying the shower?’ 

4. deciding that from now on he’d be in charge of getting his own breakfast. Filling a serving bowl full to the brim with bran flakes and sitting at the table for nearly an hour shovelling in spoonful after spoonful, refusing to admit that he had given himself too much

5. yesterday I asked him how he’d been at nursery. He said ‘sad’ and looked upset. I said ‘why.’ He looked sadder still and said ‘because I wanted you.’ I gave him a cuddle. He then bursts out laughing and says ‘I’m telling porky pies mummy. I was fine!’ Pickle.

I can’t remember life being quite so hilarious before he came along.

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