Things I’d change about me? Where do I start…

August 8, 2011 § 8 Comments

It’s been a while since I joined in with the listography hosted over at Kate’s gaff, mainly due to my brain being broken through newborn-induced-sleep-deprivation (I feel that should be an acronymn. NISD. I’ve got a touch of NISD). But this week I feel inspired to write something, because the topic is ‘5 things I’d change about me’ and as I’ve managed a bit of navel-gazing over the past few weeks in the wee small hours, I shouldn’t be lacking in inspiration. So here goes…

1. I would like to ‘live in the moment’ more. Instead of always planning ahead. The Buddhists are really onto something here  (sure they’ll be stoked to have my endorsement). It’s true though. I even bought a book on mindfulness a few months ago; sadly I wasn’t mindful enough to remember not to leave it on the train. I’m the kind of person who when enjoying a (very rare) beauty treatment, such as a massage, is not able to relax and enjoy it because I’m too scared of it being over.

2. When it comes to planning ahead, I wish I could settle on one path. My head is always awash with schemes, in fact it’s so noisy in there, it’s a wonder I achieve anything at all. Over the last couple of years I’ve had plans to launch a toy recycling website, set up a community mums’ cafe, write a book, set up a baby clothes donation charity – you name it, there’s a half baked idea in there somewhere. And that’s the problem. Lots of ideas, no carry through. Could try harder.

3. I wish I couldn’t care less what people thought of me. In some ways, I blame my past career. I was in publishing account handling for a very long time, and the basic job description was: make people like you. Clients, creatives, ad team, I was the person who jollied it all along and tried to keep everyone happy. Pimp your personality. Turn yourself into something you’re not for the good of the firm. I even used to get an annual report on how liked (or not) I was by my clients. Not for the faint hearted. Is it any wonder that I therefore scrutinise every comment from other mums, or vague acquaintances, for signs of whether I have their approval? Sad but true. 

4. Be less honest. See above. I think the Americans call this ‘over-sharing’.

5. Learn to turn left. I watched Zoolander last night (it was on. I’d just finished watching something very clever on BBC4, alright? No, I can’t quite remember what it was called…) Due to years of walking on the catwalk Derek can only turn right. Apparently shops are laid out so that the goods that makes the most margin are on the right-hand side when you go in, as you are predisposed to turning right. I think this is true for me. Years ago on holiday in an Italian hotel, OH would every night hang back to see which way I turned out of the lift. Every time I turned right. Even after a week. Our room was on the left.


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