Manolos and princess aliens

September 5, 2011 § 4 Comments

I was up late last night curling my hair and applying fake tan, so was a bit tired when leaving the house to do the school run. Not only did I trip over the labradoodle and scuff a Manolo, but halfway there I realised that I had forgotten a child, and had to return home to wrench Piers away from his french toast and into his plus fours.

Of course the above is fabricated. It wasn’t a school run but a pre-school run. Oh and I don’t have a son called Piers. Or own any Manolos. Although perhaps there’s some iota of truth in the absolute codswallop the Daily Fascist has been perpetrating about competitive glam mums on the school run. Only in my world donning a new pair of trainers and brushing my hair is really glamming it up. Elle MacPherson eat your heart out.

After dropping 2yo, who, we have established, is not called Piers, nor is he wearing plus fours, at pre-school, and keeping all my fingers and toes crossed he won’t attack every child there with the wooden hammer he was brandishing gleefully upon our exit, 4yo, baby and I head to the playground. 4yo, who starts school next week, bumps into a girl on the climbing frame (literally bumps into her, I think this counts as a friendly greeting), and I soon learn that they are going to be in the same reception class. I take as step back and listen to them play.

Girl: Hello Wilson
4yo: Ben 10 actually
Girl: Hello Ben 10
4yo: Want to help me shoot the bad guys?
Girl: OK, who can I be?
4yo: Kevin, or an alien. I am Waaaay Big (stamps around)
Girl: Are they girls?
4yo: No. Peyowwww, pachoo pachooo (gun sounds)
Girl: Do they have long hair?
4yo: You can be Gwen.
Girl: Does she have long hair?
4yo: No. But she does have special powers. You can shoot the aliens with me.
Girl: (Thinks for a minute). Does she wear a pink dress?
4yo: No. But she does have sparkles.
Girl: OK then.

I can’t help but think that there must be a market out there for a book or TV programme that appeals to both sexes. About a princess alien, who shoots the bad guys, whilst looking beautiful in a pink dress. I’m hoping that she’s wearing her best Converse though. Manolos are such a fag to walk in when you’re saving the universe.


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§ 4 Responses to Manolos and princess aliens

  • Something that brings down the daily facist and it’s new pressure to glam up the school run. It must scream f*** off and blast it with a pink wand whilst breathing fire, doing a bit of ballet and flying an alien space ship – FAB Post!

  • indreamworld says:

    Oh , I saw that article in the papers as well and thought what a load of garbage! Who did they survey?! Elle and her mates?! 🙂
    It’s certainly not like anyone on the school run I’ve ever encountered. As for me, after getting breakfast, fighting/wrestling the kids into their uniform under much protest as they’d rather sit and watch Peppa bloody Pig all day, I’m doing well if all I manage to do is pull a brush through my hair!
    Found you through Twitter and now following. 🙂

  • I'm So Fancy says:

    I agree! Try Bloch for saving planets…

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